Although I, myself, was not born in India, many of the points throughout this article relate to me and I'm sure many others. Couldn't have said it better!

Growing Up a Desi Girl: What It Means to Be Between Two Worlds

Let's Talk About Body Image

Now I'm not claiming to be an expert or to have a guide on how to be confident, but its an issue I have experienced and continue to deal with. Growing up I think you look for a manual on how to become more confident when in reality, there is no manual, everybody achieves it in different ways. 

First things first, everyone has body issues. I know it can be hard to imagine a girl who is size 0, having confidence issues, but that's the reality of it. When you see a supermodel or a skinny girl, it can be easy to come to the conclusion that this girl has dieted like crazy or works out all hours of the day (which I'm not saying is a bad thing, more power to you). But we never stop to think that maybe this girl was just born a bit thinner than everyone else. When people are constantly commenting on how skinny you are, it can get annoying, even though society considers it a compliment. I mean you don't walk around tell bigger people that they're fat, so you shouldn't tell thin people they're skinny. From the perspective of the person giving the compliment, I understand that being called skinny is a compliment, but in some cases you're bashed for being skinny. For example, Meghan Trainor's song "All About That Bass". This song does send out a great message about your body image. When listening to the song its easy to focus on the great beat and the inspiring message, but when analyzing the lyrics you hear this , "You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll" and "skinny bitches". Why does being skinny make you a bitch? Or why does it make you fake ("silicone Barbie Doll")? YOU CAN'T WIN! I know you're probably wondering how I know that skinny people don't like being called skinny and that's because I have been around people that feel that way. I myself have never experienced that feeling, but whether its friends, family, or people I follow through social media, I've heard comments such as "I don't like that my waist is so thin" or "my legs are small" or "I was made fun of as a kid for being so skinny". Although I'm sure many people do like someone telling them that they look skinny, others don't. All I'm asking is to put it into perspective, if you're trying compliment someone's body say, "you look so fit" or "your body looks great", it doesn't have to be about how skinny they are.

That brings me to people who aren't "model size" or to people who are just bigger. Although its sad to say, from a young age body image is something everyone is concerned about. When your constantly comparing yourself to models or actresses you're just putting yourself down. Flipping through a magazine and seeing pictures of celebrities walking down the street, or celebrities without any photo shop, can be shocking because it can be easy to forget that they are just human beings. It so easy to say I want that person's legs or I want that person stomach, but the cold hard truth is that your never going to get it because you're not them. The best thing you can do is compare yourself to you. If you want to get toned or you want to lose a few pounds, set goals for yourself. I believe in eating right and exercising, none of that Weight Watchers crap or those stupid diets are going to help. You need to have the willpower to want to workout and have the willpower to reach for some grapes instead of that box of Oreos.  And let me tell you, when you start working out and eating healthier you just feel more confident and you feel better about your body, even if you aren't able to see result. you just feel better. Something else I want to add is that weighing yourself on a scale is a terrible way to boost your self-esteem. There are so many things that factor into your body weight that looking at a number on a scale doesn't do you any good. Instead, look at the way your clothes fit, or how you feel, for all you know that number on the scale is high because you're just super stacked.  What most people don't realize is that its not just you that contributes to your confidence, its the people around you. If you have great relationships with your family and friends, you'll feel that much more comfortable and that much more confident. It sounds crazy, but when you feel secure, you feel confident. Trust me life is much more fun when you walk around not worrying about what other people think. I mean think about it, when you're walking around you're worried about if you look okay or if people are judging you, but I promise nobody is paying attention to you. They are all worrying about themselves and whether they look okay or if people are judging them.  However there is no reciepe for achieving confidence, each person will achieve it in their own way, this is just how I've been able to become more confident.  

I'm sure there are numerous things I missed when talking about body image, but I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to read a book. 

Feel free to leave any comments or thoughts about body image.

With Love,

       Simran Rai